Joke's On Who?
by shegal92
Summary: Requested by Boris Yeltsin. For an April Fools joke, Drakken makes Shego think she's won ten thousand dollars in the lottery, but she has to pick it up at her mom's house.


Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, except for maybe Shego's mom, if Disney lets me XD

Drakken pulled out the envelope that he had been hiding underneath his mattress for months now. He snickered to himself and gazed upon the envelope with delight. This year she was not getting the best of him. This year was his victory at long last.

Ever since the humiliating feminine napkin fiasco of April Fool's Day 2008, Drakken had kept his eye out for Shego's worst nightmare. And here it was. A fake lottery ticket that could be redeemed at "yo momma's" house. To see the joy and ecstasy on Shego's face as she thought she had won $10,000 only to realize, once she read the fine print, that she had in fact been "punk'd", was well worth the $19.95 he paid for it (plus shipping and handling).

He went down onto the first floor, where Shego was unsuspectingly eating her breakfast. He smiled at her, holding the envelope behind his back.

"Good morning, Shego," he purred. She arched her eyebrow.

"Morning."

"I got you a little somethin'."

 "For the last time, I'm not pulling your finger," he sighed.

"Not that. A real present," Shego turned around.

"I'm downright suspicious now. Am I forgetting an anniversary or something?" Like heck _he _was telling her what today was.

"No occasion, just because."

"Oh god, it's a take-over-the-world-scheme-kiss-up present," she closed her eyes and held out her hands. Drakken set the envelope into them, biting his lip.

She opened her eyes and her lips puckered as she examined the gift.

"You know cursive?"

"Open it!" He exclaimed.

"Fine, fine."

With a single swipe of a nail, she cleanly tore open the packet. She shook out its contents into her palm; the lottery ticket. She gave a disbelieving look to Drakken.

"Gift cards are so this decade. I went old school."

"Okay, Ponyboy, can I have a quarter or something?" He fished one out of his pocket. She took it and scratched at the silvery covering.

He watched anxiously as she meticulously unearthed the crowns, trying to get 3 out of the possible 27 sections. Unknown to her, all of the sections had crowns, so it was impossible for one to lose. Chances were she wouldn't expose the others once she got her win, in case it rendered it void. She continued perfecting her scrape job.

"Do you _have_ to get every bit of it off?!" He criticized.

"No, but it prolongs the illusion of success."

She finally finished and glanced at the object. She made a couple quick checks and Drakken nearly burst out laughing. Then, she did. Hard and loud. His posture drooped down. So early? He was expecting a little bit of time before she figured it out.

"Oh jeez. Of all the people in the world, the thief wins the lottery," his eyes lit up. She was actually believing this!

"You won the lottery?" He asked, feigning surprise (really, really obviously).

"Yeah."

"No joke?"

"No joke. Ironic…I think I'm going to go spoil Hego's theory that "evil never wins" and "good always triumphs" now," she stood up and began to walk towards the phone.

She was really emotionless for someone who just won the lottery, Drakken thought. Did she know it was a prank? Was she just stringing him along? He could read a woman's emotions about as well as Goofy could read pig Latin. She paused as though reading his mind.

""Redeemable at yo momma's house"? What?" She looked confused at Drakken, who had already braced himself for the green blast sure to follow, "Are they serious?"

"I guess so," he said meekly. She flipped the card over and over in her hand.

"It looks legit," she admitted. She let out a sigh, "My mom wasn't too happy when I left home. She's still angry at me."

"Maybe you can reconcile with her," Drakken suggested. Shego gave a dry laugh.

"You think my temper's bad? At least I passed anger management," she shook her head, "Chuck Norris crossed her bad side once… Only fight he ever lost."

"Your mom beat Chuck Norris?!" Drakken tried to grasp the concept that _anyone_ could beat Chuck Norris. Shego nodded gravely before heading up the staircase.

She came back down in a coat, absentmindedly playing with her set of keys.

"Where are you going?" Drakken asked anxiously. She gave him a disbelieving look.

"I just received a lottery ticket from my boss that says I've won $10,000 dollars and all I have to do is go see my senile mother and pick up the cash. Where do you think I'm going?" She went over to the notepad that was magneted to the refrigerator, "Hopefully, she didn't spend it or something. I'll leave the house phone number here just in case things get ugly.

"…Okay," She was out the door before he could decide how far he was going to let this go on.

There was no way Shego actually believed this. She was way too smart to take this joke this far. Or had he been overestimating his assistant?

&&&

It had been three days and no word from Shego. Drakken was way past worry now. He was full-blown freaked out. She should be back by now, or called in for vacation. Even she wouldn't go this long without answering her cell phone, caller i.d. or not. Then again, she was probably sore from the prank. He decided to dial up Shego's mother. Two and a half rings later, a voice much like Shego's answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is Shego there?" He asked, sounding like a child calling up a play date.

"Shego?" The woman's voice sounded confused.

"Your, um, daughter?" He offered.

"Oh, _Shego_ Shego… She's, er, disposed of at the moment. May I ask whose calling?"

"It's her boss, Dr. Drakken."

"Oh, the mad scientist… Listen, do you know anything about forensics?" Drakken furrowed his eyebrow.

"Not much, why?"

"Do you know enough to destroy DNA evidence of, say, a homicide?" There was a brief silence as Drakken mulled this over.

"No…"

"Oh, too bad. The body's starting to smell something fierce."

"…Excuse me; did you just say something about a body starting to smell something fierce?"

"Yeah. By the way, Shego's put in her two weeks' notice. Don't try to talk her out of it; she's dead firm," Drakken felt the beginning of butterflies in his stomach.

"May I please talk to Shego?"

"She's unavailable."

"When will she be available?"

"Never," Drakken's heart beat sped up.

"What, what do you mean?"

"…Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes," There was a deep breath on the other side.

"I didn't mean to, it was an accident. Things were brought up; super powered blows were traded… Guess I'm just going to have to torch the thing."

"YOU KILLED YOUR OWN DAUGHTER?!?!?!?!"

"SHHH!!! God, you want the government on this?"

"You killed Shego!"

"Yes, that has been established! Have any advice on stashing her rotting corpse, or are you going to just continue stating the obvious?!" Drakken tried to push past the horror he felt at her murder.

"Well, shouldn't we give her a proper burial?" There was a long pause, so long that Drakken was wondering if she had hung up on him. Then, she responded in a cold voice.

"I'll drop the body off at your place," Click.

Oh snap.

&&&

He never meant for the prank to go this far. He expected it to be over once she read the fine print. Like he knew her mother was a frickin' psycho! Drakken paced anxiously. What was he going to do with Shego's body? No one would believe that he didn't kill her. He was too worried to have the time to grieve over her. Oh, why why why had he done this? Just for a giggle? He should've figured it was a case of "like mother, like daughter".

A sleek black jet set down outside and Drakken drug his feet towards the door. Was it at least going to be in a bag or was she just dragging a body around? Would it be very bloody? He just ate.

A young woman gracefully descended from the passenger seat, waving to the driver. Drakken's hands balled into fists and his teeth clenched. She walked into the front door smirking at him.

"SSSSSHHHHHEEEEGGGGOOO!!!!" He screamed and stuttered. She laughed.

"What? Like you thought I actually _believed _that fake? I've got four brothers, Dr. D. And my mom is _not_ that convincing an actress," she patted his head like a child as she passed.

"Next year, April Fool's Day ends at 12:00 a.m. on April 2nd, whatever time zone we happen to be in."

&&&&&&&

Well, that was as predictable as a mystery story written by a third grader. Hope y'all managed to get a chuckle or two at least.


End file.
